Why Are We Still Whispering About Men’s Mental Health in Hospitality?
Season 4, Episode 2 | Talking Hospitality
🎧 Featuring: Joe McDonnell, Paddy Howell, Craig Prentice, Aidan Fraser & Frven Lim
We kicked off season 4 of Talking Hospitality with a topic that’s too often brushed under the table: men’s mental health.
Let’s be clear—it’s not just a “nice to talk about” issue. The stats are painful. The stories are real. And the impact is being felt across our industry—from kitchens to boardrooms.
This episode brought together five passionate voices from recruitment, architecture, leadership, and mental health to do one thing: name the problem and ask what we’re actually doing about it.
“You smile through service—then collapse when you get home.”
Let’s not pretend this is new. As Paddy Howell from So Let’s Talk pointed out, we’ve been running on broken systems for decades:
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Highest rates of drug abuse in any industry globally
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Third highest for alcohol misuse
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An industry culture built on long hours, late nights, and unresolved pressure
Add to that the deeply embedded belief—especially among men—that showing emotion is weak, and you’ve got the perfect storm for poor mental health.
The Mask We Wear in Hospitality
Architect and wellbeing advocate Frven Lim hit the nail on the head:
“We all shift from back of house to front of house. The persona we wear out front often hides everything going on inside.”
In a profession that demands relentless positivity—“always on,” always smiling—where do you go with your real self?
How do you offload stress when the only culture you know is “leave your problems at the door”?
Spoiler: you don’t.
And that’s how service culture slowly chips away at people.
“We Talk About Giving Feedback—But Never How to Receive It”
There’s an emotional labour gap in hospitality no one trains us for.
Yes, we’re good at giving feedback on shift. But as Frven and Craig Prentice both pointed out, we’re not preparing people to receive it.
This is especially true for younger team members who are still forming their professional identity. When you criticise a dish or a task, they hear “you’re a failure.”
🧠 Reframing mental health, as Joe McDonnell suggested, is key:
It’s not a broken leg. It’s not your fault. It’s just something you have—not something you are.
Toxic Masculinity: Still Lurking in the Corners
The group were united in calling out the harmful undercurrent of outdated masculinity still found in some corners of the industry.
🙄 “Man up.”
🙄 “Push through.”
🙄 “Be a trooper.”
As Paddy put it: “If your values haven’t changed in 20 years, you’re living in cuckoo land.”
The solution? Vulnerability in leadership.
A simple “I’m not feeling great today, go gentle with me” from a manager can shift the dynamic of an entire shift.
Hospitality Has a Superpower: Communication
Despite the challenges, we’ve got one massive advantage: we know how to talk.
This episode wasn’t all doom and gloom. In fact, it was full of positive, actionable takeaways:
✅ Framing your team environment like your guest experience – as Raffles has done, creating calm, considered staff spaces
✅ Asking for help doesn’t make you weak – in fact, it often makes you more respected
✅ Leveraging supplier partnerships – Paddy revealed how drinks brands are funding mental health initiatives (instead of handing out T-shirts and bar blades)
✅ Building community through action – Craig’s Walk for Wellbeing brought hospitality professionals together in the real world, to reconnect and reflect
Final Word: Be the Conversation Starter
Whether you’re a manager, a chef, a recruiter, or a barista—this isn’t someone else’s problem.
Start with yourself. Share your story. Ask how people really are.
And don’t forget, you don’t need a 12-point strategy to make change. As Aidan Fraser reminded us:
“It’s rarely one big event that tips someone over—it’s a series of small things. So just do one kind thing for someone each day.”
🎧 Listen Now:
▶️ Talking Hospitality: Season 4, Episode 2 – Men's Mental Health in Hospitality
🔗 Talking Hospitality Mens Mental Health
Further Support & Resources
Timothy R Andrews
Host & Founder
(Host, 2020– ) Timothy R. Andrews has spent over two decades in hospitality, beginning by collecting glasses in bars and steadily working his way up. After founding and leading a successful recruitment and training business for luxury, 4-star, and 5-star markets for 16 years, Timothy now serves as Head of Talent for Jumeirah Hotels London.
Beyond Jumeirah, Timothy hosts Talking Hospitality, a podcast known for its direct approach to industry issues and practical advice. Each episode tackles real challenges in hospitality today, with guest experts who offer solutions that can be put into action. Through Educating Hospitality, he also provides carefully selected industry-specific training courses that align with podcast topics, helping listeners stay up-to-date and gain practical skills.
Timothy’s work extends into community initiatives as well, including his impactful efforts to support Ukrainian refugees. From guiding them through the complexities of life in the UK to securing jobs, accommodations, and essential services, Timothy’s dedication reflects a belief that hospitality extends beyond the workplace.
Whether listeners want to stay updated on industry trends or learn what’s working in hospitality leadership, Talking Hospitality offers a fresh, entertaining perspective—and is Timothy’s way of giving back to the sector he cares deeply about.
The views expressed in this podcast are solely those of Timothy Andrews and do not reflect the opinions or positions of Jumeirah or any associated brands. Timothy Andrews is speaking in his persona… Read More
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